/u/Jakeh7494's posts in /r/TwoSentenceHorror

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Only show posts with narrations

I was thrilled that my ex-girlfriend had called me for a booty call, but thought it was weird that she all of a sudden wanted it rough.

7 upvotes

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As a heroin dealer, I feel no empathy when people overdose on my product, as they know what they are getting themselves into.

6 upvotes

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The aggressive group of men cornered me in the alley, wrangled me to the ground, and worked together to tear my clothes off.

5 upvotes

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If you want her to live, read the following instructions very carefully or SHE WILL DIE!

2 upvotes

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I looked over to my 4 year old son at the dinner table, happy to see him finally showing interest in some foods.

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“I see dead people,” the kid told me.

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“Genie, I wish I was irresistible to the opposite sex and the last man alive!”

1 upvotes

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“I have such a beautiful smile”, I thought to myself, looking in the mirror.

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The school budget this year calls for all students to receive their own iPads.

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“Excuse me, sir, but the newest vaccine has been having some pretty bad side effects,” I explained to my boss at the FDA handing him the paperwork.

1 upvotes

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Title	Upvotes	Mark as read	Favorited	Rating	Add to a list
I was thrilled that my ex-girlfriend had called me for a booty call, but thought it was weird that she all of a sudden wanted it rough.	7
As a heroin dealer, I feel no empathy when people overdose on my product, as they know what they are getting themselves into.	6
The aggressive group of men cornered me in the alley, wrangled me to the ground, and worked together to tear my clothes off.	5
If you want her to live, read the following instructions very carefully or SHE WILL DIE!	2
I looked over to my 4 year old son at the dinner table, happy to see him finally showing interest in some foods.	2
“I see dead people,” the kid told me.	2
“Genie, I wish I was irresistible to the opposite sex and the last man alive!”	1
“I have such a beautiful smile”, I thought to myself, looking in the mirror.	1
The school budget this year calls for all students to receive their own iPads.	1
“Excuse me, sir, but the newest vaccine has been having some pretty bad side effects,” I explained to my boss at the FDA handing him the paperwork.	1