/u/Jellycaine's posts in /r/TwoSentenceHorror

Year:

Only show posts with narrations

Mommy says that Daddy left us because he wasn’t ready to be a dad.

1167 upvotes

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The whole world watched at 11:59 as the ball was ready to drop.

1091 upvotes

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As I heard my kidnapper close the driver side door, I got ready to attack, grateful he didn’t find the knife in my back pocket.

965 upvotes

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I wanted to impress my boyfriend my first time giving him head, so I practiced my technique at home with a cucumber.

882 upvotes

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When the kid wouldn’t get out of the road after my incessant honking, I got out and beat his ass for the disrespect, then drove off.

753 upvotes

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It drives me crazy that my wife brags about how “gifted” our little one is.

721 upvotes

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In order to convince my son that his imaginary friend wasn’t real, I took a selfie to prove that it was just us here.

684 upvotes

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The man came back from the kitchen and handed the woman her drink, which she noticed smelled delightfully of almond.

654 upvotes

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I smiled while watching my son push his little sister.

621 upvotes

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My wife still blames me for the tragic death our son, saying I was distracted and should’ve seen the car coming.

592 upvotes

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Title	Upvotes	Mark as read	Favorited	Rating	Add to a list
Mommy says that Daddy left us because he wasn’t ready to be a dad.	1167
The whole world watched at 11:59 as the ball was ready to drop.	1091
As I heard my kidnapper close the driver side door, I got ready to attack, grateful he didn’t find the knife in my back pocket.	965
I wanted to impress my boyfriend my first time giving him head, so I practiced my technique at home with a cucumber.	882
When the kid wouldn’t get out of the road after my incessant honking, I got out and beat his ass for the disrespect, then drove off.	753
It drives me crazy that my wife brags about how “gifted” our little one is.	721
In order to convince my son that his imaginary friend wasn’t real, I took a selfie to prove that it was just us here.	684
The man came back from the kitchen and handed the woman her drink, which she noticed smelled delightfully of almond.	654
I smiled while watching my son push his little sister.	621
My wife still blames me for the tragic death our son, saying I was distracted and should’ve seen the car coming.	592