/u/Lots42's posts in /r/TwoSentenceHorror

Year:

The demon said I would live for a thousand years in perfect health.

64 upvotes

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Ever since the apocalypse three years ago I always make sure anyone passing by is not a blood-crazed axe murderer.

63 upvotes

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I was a little relieved through my confusion, for even the caterers at my family reunion said it was odd for me to have so very, very many children.

63 upvotes

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I finally found a clue as to why I've been untouched during this demonic apocalypse.

62 upvotes

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As I tumbled through the depths of space I waited for my air supply to run out and death to take me.

62 upvotes

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I had not told anyone in my repressive backwards family I recently learned how to read lips.

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Everyone thought I was nuts when I rented that apartment under the nightclub.

62 upvotes

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My neighbor's many cats are well fed and healthy, so that's not why I called the cops.

61 upvotes

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I wouldn't mind too much my cats yelling and scratching at the second door to the basement.

60 upvotes

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Thanks to my nervous system disorder, I couldn't enjoy the new video game sweeping the world.

60 upvotes

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Title	Upvotes	Mark as read	Favorited	Rating	Add to a list
The demon said I would live for a thousand years in perfect health.	64
Ever since the apocalypse three years ago I always make sure anyone passing by is not a blood-crazed axe murderer.	63
I was a little relieved through my confusion, for even the caterers at my family reunion said it was odd for me to have so very, very many children.	63
I finally found a clue as to why I've been untouched during this demonic apocalypse.	62
As I tumbled through the depths of space I waited for my air supply to run out and death to take me.	62
I had not told anyone in my repressive backwards family I recently learned how to read lips.	62
Everyone thought I was nuts when I rented that apartment under the nightclub.	62
My neighbor's many cats are well fed and healthy, so that's not why I called the cops.	61
I wouldn't mind too much my cats yelling and scratching at the second door to the basement.	60
Thanks to my nervous system disorder, I couldn't enjoy the new video game sweeping the world.	60