/u/Mr7000000's posts in /r/TwoSentenceHorror

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Only show posts with narrations

My wife being pregnant without my involvement normally would have made me suspicious.

5244 upvotes

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I was the only one daring enough to rebel against the mad king.

4141 upvotes

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I returned home from a ten-month tour in Iraq to find a positive pregnancy test in my wife's bathroom, and I lost control of myself.

1605 upvotes

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Forgive me, father, for I have sinned.

1049 upvotes

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When I was little, I had a Cinderella themed birthday party, and when I graduated high school, I wore a Beauty and the Beast-themed grad cap.

800 upvotes

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Sometimes when my barber's talking, I tune him out.

494 upvotes

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You've got to have a tough stomach to work as an exterminator.

330 upvotes

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My granddaughter visited me in the hospital today.

285 upvotes

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When I was a kid, I thought my mom was just trying to give me a taste of my own medicine when she asked to sleep in my room so the monster wouldn't get her.

283 upvotes

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Billions gathered to greet the angel, hoping to ascend to heaven.

263 upvotes

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Title	Upvotes	Mark as read	Favorited	Rating	Add to a list
My wife being pregnant without my involvement normally would have made me suspicious.	5244
I was the only one daring enough to rebel against the mad king.	4141
I returned home from a ten-month tour in Iraq to find a positive pregnancy test in my wife's bathroom, and I lost control of myself.	1605
Forgive me, father, for I have sinned.	1049
When I was little, I had a Cinderella themed birthday party, and when I graduated high school, I wore a Beauty and the Beast-themed grad cap.	800
Sometimes when my barber's talking, I tune him out.	494
You've got to have a tough stomach to work as an exterminator.	330
My granddaughter visited me in the hospital today.	285
When I was a kid, I thought my mom was just trying to give me a taste of my own medicine when she asked to sleep in my room so the monster wouldn't get her.	283
Billions gathered to greet the angel, hoping to ascend to heaven.	263