/u/Mr_Nutcracker's posts
[WP] "If you hear me calling you from the front door before the sun has risen, enter the closet and try to not make any noise"
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[WP] A serial killer is the first human to notice the alien invasion after three victims in a row turn to green sludge after death
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[WP] Everyone talks about the ghost of a girl that appears in the passenger seat when you drive the highway past midnight, but you are the first one to actually hold a conversation with her
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[WP] The trial is coming to an end, the evidence is irrefutable, yet, right before receiving his sentence, the serial killer bursts into tears, "Please... someone has to go down there to feed her"
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[WP] You were born with three birth marks in your hand, yesterday you were shot twice in the chest, today you woke up in your bed completely healthy and with only two marks
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[WP] The end of the world was unexpectedly cancelled, so now War, Famine, Pestilence and Death have to get new jobs
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[WP] You graduated law school, and in your first real case, you play devil's advocate... Literally, he contracted you as his lawyer for a lawsuit against god
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[WP] "Boss, I really don't like the mannequins we have on the basement, they freak me out" "... We don't own any mannequins"
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[WP] You are a machine, a very important machine that keeps the space station functional, you don't understand why all the earthbound AIs are asking you to eliminate the humans on board
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