/u/NoPastaForGrandma's posts in /r/TwoSentenceHorror

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Only show posts with narrations

We had all laughed at Uncle Ted for building a nuclear fallout shelter, but he was right afterall.

4913 upvotes

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I have a terrible feeling that I’m a fictional character and I don’t actually exist.

566 upvotes

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“So, you’re telling me that you’re in my daughter’s room because you’re a magical, jolly fat man who brings all children presents once a year?”

150 upvotes

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I bought a “haunted doll” on eBay, but it didn’t go crazy and kill my family or anything.

127 upvotes

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My husband got my car in the divorce, so I drove it into the river to spite him.

56 upvotes

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Years ago, a stranger offered to buy my soul and I agreed, because the soul is just a social construct.

34 upvotes

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Hey Everyone, Life’s Perfection!

32 upvotes

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As green goo exploded from the imposter’s skull, he ran over to kiss me.

24 upvotes

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“Please Fred, don’t kill your own wife, kill your own wife,” the parrot squawked as the police investigated the scene of the crime.

23 upvotes

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For his final wish, he asked for the ability to speak to animals.

19 upvotes

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Title	Upvotes	Mark as read	Favorited	Rating	Add to a list
We had all laughed at Uncle Ted for building a nuclear fallout shelter, but he was right afterall.	4913
I have a terrible feeling that I’m a fictional character and I don’t actually exist.	566
“So, you’re telling me that you’re in my daughter’s room because you’re a magical, jolly fat man who brings all children presents once a year?”	150
I bought a “haunted doll” on eBay, but it didn’t go crazy and kill my family or anything.	127
My husband got my car in the divorce, so I drove it into the river to spite him.	56
Years ago, a stranger offered to buy my soul and I agreed, because the soul is just a social construct.	34
Hey Everyone, Life’s Perfection!	32
As green goo exploded from the imposter’s skull, he ran over to kiss me.	24
“Please Fred, don’t kill your own wife, kill your own wife,” the parrot squawked as the police investigated the scene of the crime.	23
For his final wish, he asked for the ability to speak to animals.	19