/u/Outside_Normal's posts in /r/TwoSentenceHorror

Year:

[JULY2020] "Help me, I can't find my penis," cried the crazy homeless man while we chuckled and walked away.

255 upvotes

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Everyone regards Salvador Dalí's "The Persistence of Memory" as the most famous example of Surrealism.

252 upvotes

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I thought it odd when he said "Got your nose!"

228 upvotes

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I fumbled for my EpiPen as my throat and neck began to visibly swell.

224 upvotes

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As a psychopath, my greatest accomplishment wasn't convincing the doctors that I was perfectly sane.

222 upvotes

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I lost track of how many times I've repeated this day, but I know it will be over soon.

211 upvotes

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As a stipulation of the inheritance, I was required to hang a portrait of my Great-Aunt Dorina in the sitting room.

207 upvotes

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In the smoke-filled hallway I passed my baby off to the firefighter saying I had to go back for my wife.

194 upvotes

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Her agile fingers danced about, intricately weaving in and out, as though she were conducting a silent symphony that no one had written yet.

177 upvotes

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Never had my wife glared at me with more hatred than when I forgot to pick up some salt from the store.

173 upvotes

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Title	Upvotes	Mark as read	Favorited	Rating	Add to a list
[JULY2020] "Help me, I can't find my penis," cried the crazy homeless man while we chuckled and walked away.	255
Everyone regards Salvador Dalí's "The Persistence of Memory" as the most famous example of Surrealism.	252
I thought it odd when he said "Got your nose!"	228
I fumbled for my EpiPen as my throat and neck began to visibly swell.	224
As a psychopath, my greatest accomplishment wasn't convincing the doctors that I was perfectly sane.	222
I lost track of how many times I've repeated this day, but I know it will be over soon.	211
As a stipulation of the inheritance, I was required to hang a portrait of my Great-Aunt Dorina in the sitting room.	207
In the smoke-filled hallway I passed my baby off to the firefighter saying I had to go back for my wife.	194
Her agile fingers danced about, intricately weaving in and out, as though she were conducting a silent symphony that no one had written yet.	177
Never had my wife glared at me with more hatred than when I forgot to pick up some salt from the store.	173