/u/Outside_Normal's posts in /r/TwoSentenceSadness

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Having been married twice and outliving both, I often wondered which one would be waiting for me when I went to Heaven.

980 upvotes

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When I got home from school I saw a note on the table from my mother, addressed to my father, saying she left and the "brat" — me — was now his problem.

927 upvotes

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Even though no one else seemed to like her, Miss Wormwood was my favorite teacher because she never made me feel bad that my parents owned the morgue.

894 upvotes

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Songbird in Winter

809 upvotes

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After a fun-filled, first-class family excursion at the resort, our kids told us this was the best day of their lives.

790 upvotes

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It was my first assignment after becoming a reaper of souls for Death.

762 upvotes

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I feared the worst when I saw Death approaching the litter of puppies frolicking in the field.

732 upvotes

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The beloved children's book sat untouched on the shelf for years gathering dust.

727 upvotes

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Growing a beard changed my appearance so much my own mother didn't even recognize me.

663 upvotes

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"Look at it this way, you didn't want to have kids anyway, right?" he remarked, instinctively knowing he said the wrong thing the moment the words came out of his mouth.

655 upvotes

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Title	Upvotes	Mark as read	Favorited	Rating	Add to a list
Having been married twice and outliving both, I often wondered which one would be waiting for me when I went to Heaven.	980
When I got home from school I saw a note on the table from my mother, addressed to my father, saying she left and the "brat" — me — was now his problem.	927
Even though no one else seemed to like her, Miss Wormwood was my favorite teacher because she never made me feel bad that my parents owned the morgue.	894
Songbird in Winter	809
After a fun-filled, first-class family excursion at the resort, our kids told us this was the best day of their lives.	790
It was my first assignment after becoming a reaper of souls for Death.	762
I feared the worst when I saw Death approaching the litter of puppies frolicking in the field.	732
The beloved children's book sat untouched on the shelf for years gathering dust.	727
Growing a beard changed my appearance so much my own mother didn't even recognize me.	663
"Look at it this way, you didn't want to have kids anyway, right?" he remarked, instinctively knowing he said the wrong thing the moment the words came out of his mouth.	655