/u/Phonaesthetica's posts in /r/TwoSentenceHorror

Year:

Only show posts with narrations

The day she was born, my daughter looked like a perfect angel.

2087 upvotes

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It was a cold night, so we moved the still-smouldering barbecue into the porch area of the tent to give us some extra warmth.

1405 upvotes

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I was still a bit numb and loopy from the pain meds, but I had to make myself some dinner, so I put the TV on to help me power through.

460 upvotes

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I was kinda freaked out after I caught my leg on that barbed wire fence and fell in the dirt, it hurt for days, but I'm feeling a lot better now.

266 upvotes

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The contract for my new acting job was MASSIVE, so I just skimmed through the pages and signed at the end.

164 upvotes

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I'd been using my sister's secret stash of protein powder for months with no gains, if anything I was losing muscle.

122 upvotes

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[MAR23] Did you know it takes a snake 3-5 days to fully digest a meal?

114 upvotes

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"Your father's rolling in his grave, son."

32 upvotes

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I pushed off the bottom and swam back towards the surface, looking forward to taking off my air tank and warming up in my Mini after hours diving deep in the biting cold of the lake.

23 upvotes

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[APR23] "You're a fool if you think I'm allowing you anywhere near me ever again," I shouted, before slamming down the receiver.

20 upvotes

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Title	Upvotes	Mark as read	Favorited	Rating	Add to a list
The day she was born, my daughter looked like a perfect angel.	2087
It was a cold night, so we moved the still-smouldering barbecue into the porch area of the tent to give us some extra warmth.	1405
I was still a bit numb and loopy from the pain meds, but I had to make myself some dinner, so I put the TV on to help me power through.	460
I was kinda freaked out after I caught my leg on that barbed wire fence and fell in the dirt, it hurt for days, but I'm feeling a lot better now.	266
The contract for my new acting job was MASSIVE, so I just skimmed through the pages and signed at the end.	164
I'd been using my sister's secret stash of protein powder for months with no gains, if anything I was losing muscle.	122
[MAR23] Did you know it takes a snake 3-5 days to fully digest a meal?	114
"Your father's rolling in his grave, son."	32
I pushed off the bottom and swam back towards the surface, looking forward to taking off my air tank and warming up in my Mini after hours diving deep in the biting cold of the lake.	23
[APR23] "You're a fool if you think I'm allowing you anywhere near me ever again," I shouted, before slamming down the receiver.	20