/u/Remergent4Now's posts in /r/TwoSentenceComedy

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Only show posts with narrations

I lost my virginity on my wedding night, but my new bride said not to worry as it was her first time too.

376 upvotes

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Some clown in a big SUV almost ran me off the road when I was rushing to get home after work.

264 upvotes

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I thought I could get away with just a bottle of Guinness and a chocolate donut.

152 upvotes

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When I was alive, I thought all I would need to kill a vampire was some garlic and a big steak.

14 upvotes

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Title	Upvotes	Mark as read	Favorited	Rating	Add to a list
I lost my virginity on my wedding night, but my new bride said not to worry as it was her first time too.	376
Some clown in a big SUV almost ran me off the road when I was rushing to get home after work.	264
I thought I could get away with just a bottle of Guinness and a chocolate donut.	152
When I was alive, I thought all I would need to kill a vampire was some garlic and a big steak.	14