/u/SliceLegitimate8674's posts in /r/TwoSentenceComedy

Year:

Only show posts with narrations

The disappointment was visible on his face as his blind date opened her front door to greet him

74 upvotes

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Smallpox is the least of our concerns.

72 upvotes

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For Sale: baby diapers, gently worn.

72 upvotes

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The killer was right behind me on the stairs.

65 upvotes

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First it was Tony the Tiger, dead in a cage, then Snap, Crackle and Pop, killed by autoerotic asphyxiation, and finally poor Sugar Bear, murdered by the insulin meant to save him, lying in his own filth next to a strung out hooker who didn't remember nothin'

61 upvotes

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Last week I met a guy who is exactly like me in every way, down to the finest detail.

61 upvotes

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The customer is always right.

53 upvotes

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I ate a Hamburger

53 upvotes

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"I have so many bad dates", the attractive young woman said as she undressed for bed.

53 upvotes

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It's Christmas Eve, the milk and cookies are out, but that isn't Santa Claus climbing down your chimney...

49 upvotes

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Title	Upvotes	Mark as read	Favorited	Rating	Add to a list
The disappointment was visible on his face as his blind date opened her front door to greet him	74
Smallpox is the least of our concerns.	72
For Sale: baby diapers, gently worn.	72
The killer was right behind me on the stairs.	65
First it was Tony the Tiger, dead in a cage, then Snap, Crackle and Pop, killed by autoerotic asphyxiation, and finally poor Sugar Bear, murdered by the insulin meant to save him, lying in his own filth next to a strung out hooker who didn't remember nothin'	61
Last week I met a guy who is exactly like me in every way, down to the finest detail.	61
The customer is always right.	53
I ate a Hamburger	53
"I have so many bad dates", the attractive young woman said as she undressed for bed.	53
It's Christmas Eve, the milk and cookies are out, but that isn't Santa Claus climbing down your chimney...	49