/u/SlowChurch's posts
[WP] Turns out Lee Harvey Oswald did shoot JFK. And William McKinley, James A Garfield, and Abraham Lincoln...
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[WP] You are a scientist working on blocking a gene that causes insomnia when you make a radical discovery. Death is a disease caused by a bacteria nearly identical to red cells and you can eradicate them, curing death.
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[WP] You break into a house intent on stealing everything you can. The homeowner comes out of the bedroom in his underwear, takes one look at you, and shouts, "it's about time, where have you been?"
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[WP] You survive by sucking the life force from humans. However, there is currently a zombie apocalypse, and the undead cannot feed you. You must convince your food source that now you're here to help.
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[WP] One day the Earth experiences a worldwide earthquake. Then a booming voice is heard saying, "Timmy! Don't tap the glass!"
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[WP] You are a hitman with supernatural aim, and every shot you take causes a tally mark to appear on your body. You never thought about it, the mystic who gave you the power said there'd be a side effect. What you didn't count on is what happens when there's no room for any more marks.
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[WP] You have a poltergeist who keeps moving stuff around your house as well as a gaslighting boyfriend who keeps moving stuff around your house. They're both wondering why you're fine.
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[WP] A stretch and a yawn begin the day. Your robe hangs from your droopy shoulders as you slump out your door to grab your newspaper. As you groggily turn your head to the left, having flipped past the classifieds, you see a gargantan creature taking a sizeable bite out of the planet.
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