/u/TheAres1999's posts in /r/TwoSentenceHorror

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After years of being on death row despite my innocence, I couldn't help but be relieved when they finally strapped me to the electric chair.

876 upvotes

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The doctors promised me that living at their institute would help me deal with my mental health

354 upvotes

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As the soldiers approached my home I discarded my late husband's gun to surrender.

242 upvotes

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When the judge me I could pick my cause of death, I thought "old age" was being clever

221 upvotes

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There are two things I love about impersonating a priest in a retirement home

126 upvotes

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He took a pill that promised to melt the fat away

23 upvotes

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The Romans were expert at torture, they could keep alive for hours, days even, in constant suffering

14 upvotes

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I never thought I would confess to a murder I didn't commit, but here I am.

7 upvotes

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Due to to lapsed payment on your college debt, we've been forced to repossess your Degree

3 upvotes

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I am so proud of myself for standing up to the doctor's awful vaccine poison

1 upvotes

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Title	Upvotes	Mark as read	Favorited	Rating	Add to a list
After years of being on death row despite my innocence, I couldn't help but be relieved when they finally strapped me to the electric chair.	876
The doctors promised me that living at their institute would help me deal with my mental health	354
As the soldiers approached my home I discarded my late husband's gun to surrender.	242
When the judge me I could pick my cause of death, I thought "old age" was being clever	221
There are two things I love about impersonating a priest in a retirement home	126
He took a pill that promised to melt the fat away	23
The Romans were expert at torture, they could keep alive for hours, days even, in constant suffering	14
I never thought I would confess to a murder I didn't commit, but here I am.	7
Due to to lapsed payment on your college debt, we've been forced to repossess your Degree	3
I am so proud of myself for standing up to the doctor's awful vaccine poison	1