/u/TheBloviator's posts
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[WP] While cleaning out your ears with a cotton swab, you discover what feels like a piece of hard plastic deep within your ear canal. Upon pushing it a little further into your ear, it springs back and the words "SHUT DOWN AND REBOOT?" appear in your field of vision.
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[WP] Your community has just beat you, tied you up, put you in a bag weighed down with rocks, and tossed you into the river. Surprisingly, you aren't dead. Hours later, someone drags the bag out of the river.
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[WP] Upon scoring 100% on a 90's Trivia Buzzfeed quiz, John Stamos appears at your front door. "We need your help."
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[WP] After every disease is virtually eradicated in 2150, people smoke, drink, and do drugs with no fear of negative repercussions. That is, except for the "Pure". Those assholes.
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[WP] You're a serial killer with OCD. Your victim isn't being the victim you want her to be and it's very annoying.
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[WP] After falling asleep just past midnight, you wake the next morning to find the pedometer on your phone reads 25,000 steps.
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