/u/WaffleEnema's posts in /r/TwoSentenceHorror

Year:

Only show posts with narrations

“If at first you don’t succeed, try again”

192 upvotes

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Mommy drove back home really fast today.

170 upvotes

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After days of digging, the police only found my dead dog buried in my backyard.

166 upvotes

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As an Astronomer, I can tell you that it takes sunlight an average of 8 minutes and 20 seconds to travel from the Sun to the Earth.

151 upvotes

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The psych ward had made the exception for Lily and I to bunk inside this padded cell 23 hours a day together since last December, even though it was me who convinced her to kill her entire family.

150 upvotes

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I immediately started receiving rave reviews on how realistic the A.I. was in my new line of children’s dolls.

133 upvotes

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Wanna know the very last thing that went through my brain when I hit the pavement?

123 upvotes

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My child told his mother about his “imaginary best friend”.

113 upvotes

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My alcoholism has gotten so severe that I cannot get through my work day without drinking quite heavily, sometimes causing me to black out.

106 upvotes

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Since it was first erected in 1937, approximately 1,687 people have leapt to their death from the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco.

103 upvotes

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Title	Upvotes	Mark as read	Favorited	Rating	Add to a list
“If at first you don’t succeed, try again”	192
Mommy drove back home really fast today.	170
After days of digging, the police only found my dead dog buried in my backyard.	166
As an Astronomer, I can tell you that it takes sunlight an average of 8 minutes and 20 seconds to travel from the Sun to the Earth.	151
The psych ward had made the exception for Lily and I to bunk inside this padded cell 23 hours a day together since last December, even though it was me who convinced her to kill her entire family.	150
I immediately started receiving rave reviews on how realistic the A.I. was in my new line of children’s dolls.	133
Wanna know the very last thing that went through my brain when I hit the pavement?	123
My child told his mother about his “imaginary best friend”.	113
My alcoholism has gotten so severe that I cannot get through my work day without drinking quite heavily, sometimes causing me to black out.	106
Since it was first erected in 1937, approximately 1,687 people have leapt to their death from the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco.	103