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/u/WoodenPiano's posts in /r/TwoSentenceHorror

I shouted for my roommate outside the bathroom to pass the soap.

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They say babies learn how the world works by experience and figuring out the rest.

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With nothing left to fend for myself, I could only await the enemy's capture.

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The prisoner next to me had his tongue cut out for high treason, and another had his eyes gouged out for "staring disrespectfully at the emperor".

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I waited in gleeful anticipation as I waited for my newborn child to say his first words...

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[Announcement] Community Guidelines (reposted)

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The countrywide newspaper company just accidentally recommended my book as the #1 children's choice, and it was about...

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While I came home, I realised I haven't fed my parrots for 3 weeks.

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I saw my husband giving our son a bowl of cereal for breakfast.

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My father likes to watch movies while I fall asleep.

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