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/u/abitosmitty's posts

Little Mikey remembered what his father told him if he got scared in the middle of the night, to just whistle a happy tune, so he did.

235 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceHorror
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"There are no monsters under the bed," Timmy's father said, "I will look once and then you..."

172 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceHorror
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What do you call a magician who's lost his magic?

106 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceComedy
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What is the ultimate definition of trust? NSFW

82 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceComedy
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My local butcher started making sausage out of seabirds.

81 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceComedy
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I don't do political jokes.

69 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceComedy
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What do you call a psychic midget on the run from the cops?

62 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceComedy
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The floor is lava!

61 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceComedy
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When NASA first started they were originally focused on deep sea exploration.

36 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceHorror
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Where does a pirate keep his buccaneers?

25 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceComedy
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