/u/almostnormalpanda's posts

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As a brand-new homeless guy, I eagerly accept any help I can.

883 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceSadness

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"Hey, that's my wife's car!" I said to my colleague, shocked and in disbelief.

441 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceHorror

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Due to an immediate Rank 3 contamination of the fifth research unit, the laboratory, the visitor center, and all staffed facility floors will be closed off for quarantining purposes for the duration of the decontamination process.

94 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceHorror

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At the heavenly gates, I watched calmly as my heart was weighed against any lives I may had taken during my lifetime, certain of my innocence.

83 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceHorror

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"It seems that I'm about to win this game of marbles", the cosmic entity grinned.

75 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceHorror

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It's quite a relief to be able to blame your pets for the random noises and sounds you hear throughout the night.

66 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceHorror

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The entire world seemed to come to a halt while I stood there blinking in disbelief.

57 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceHorror

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ELI5: Why do corpses moan and twitch several hours after their death?

46 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceHorror

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"Oh, the stories these trees could tell!" my guide sighed longingly.

43 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceHorror

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My big brother borrowed my pink jump rope.

30 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceHorror

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Title	Upvotes	Subreddit	Mark as read	Favorited	Rating	Add to a list
As a brand-new homeless guy, I eagerly accept any help I can.	883	TwoSentenceSadness
"Hey, that's my wife's car!" I said to my colleague, shocked and in disbelief.	441	TwoSentenceHorror
Due to an immediate Rank 3 contamination of the fifth research unit, the laboratory, the visitor center, and all staffed facility floors will be closed off for quarantining purposes for the duration of the decontamination process.	94	TwoSentenceHorror
At the heavenly gates, I watched calmly as my heart was weighed against any lives I may had taken during my lifetime, certain of my innocence.	83	TwoSentenceHorror
"It seems that I'm about to win this game of marbles", the cosmic entity grinned.	75	TwoSentenceHorror
It's quite a relief to be able to blame your pets for the random noises and sounds you hear throughout the night.	66	TwoSentenceHorror
The entire world seemed to come to a halt while I stood there blinking in disbelief.	57	TwoSentenceHorror
ELI5: Why do corpses moan and twitch several hours after their death?	46	TwoSentenceHorror
"Oh, the stories these trees could tell!" my guide sighed longingly.	43	TwoSentenceHorror
My big brother borrowed my pink jump rope.	30	TwoSentenceHorror