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/u/anon9876543210nymous's posts

In London, once you've seen one person smile, you've seen them all..

310 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceComedy
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What does my heart, soul, bank and balls all have in common?

238 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceComedy
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Since everyone wants free English lessons because I'm British, here let me teach you what 'lowest' means.

147 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceComedy
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He looked astounded, why has his bride not showed up already.

70 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceHorror
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''No mom, you've been isolating all year; you don't need a scan and you're not at risk, so please don't let anyone-''

53 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceHorror
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I walked into the kitchen for the 5th time to find nothing to eat and I'm still cranky!

50 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceHorror
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His smile beamed across his face as he browsed the diamond rings whilst anxiously waiting his life partner.

47 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceHorror
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''Honey, I'm going to get some groceries I'll be back soon. ''

24 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceHorror
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People always assume it's a toy but all my animals have been stuffed.

23 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceHorror
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There's only one way I can save my daughter.

19 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceHorror
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