/u/baltinerdist's posts
[WP] "How long have you known?" he asked. "I'm sorry, I wanted to tell you--" "HOW LONG HAVE YOU KNOWN?"
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[WP] Struggling with profits and a bloated menu, the restaurant chain had no choice but to oust their CEO and hire a new one. Herein begins the story of "Willy Wonka and the Cheesecake Factory."
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[WP] You escape the institution only to realize this is all a dream. You fight to wake up only to realize it was actually a simulation. You end the simulation only to realize it was actually a TV show. You flee the TV show only to realize…
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[EU] "And so you see, Lord Voldemort has returned," the Minister of Magic says to the Muggle Prime Minister. He immediately picks up the red phone on his desk and dials three numbers: 007.
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[WP] We are all given a death sentence and our only crime is being born, so the saying goes. Well, you just found a lawyer and you're submitting an appeal.
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[WP] "More weight!" called out Giles Corey, knowing that if his last breath escaped before they added the proper number of stones, the ritual would not succeed and his final spell would not be cast.
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[WP] As a single father of four, you've always tried to do right by your kids. That's why you moved to the cabin off the grid. That's why you electrified the fence. That's why you lock their bedroom doors at night.
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[WP] Due to a misspelling, everyone's had the classic Christmas tale all wrong. In reality, Santa has a secret, paramilitary strike force dedicated to taking out the naughty worldwide. That is, until one of their own goes rogue. This is the story of how we took out Rudolph, the Red Nosed Ranger.
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