| Heroin was supposed to kill me. | 13 | | | | |
| Turns out dog is not man’s best friend. | 12 | | | | |
| Since the day we moved into the old farmhouse, the pasture’s scarecrow had always looked grave, but one Saturday dad got sick of it and tore it out. | 10 | | | | |
| The buyers gazed at trees and flowers in full bloom, marveling at the soil’s fertility. | 10 | | | | |
| 25% of American adults haven’t read a book in the last year and Frank, the eccentric owner of a local hole-in-the-wall bookstore, told me he has a solution. | 7 | | | | |
| I’m allergic to bees. | 6 | | | | |
| The only way to stop a bad guy with a gun is a child soldier. | 5 | | | | |
| “Here’s your Blizzard, have a nice day!” | 3 | | | | |
| “Oven's warm!” the witch called, and they came. | 3 | | | | |
| The countdown began: THREE, TWO… | 3 | | | | |
