/u/deontistic's posts in /r/TwoSentenceHorror

Year:

Only show posts with narrations

I think my preacher’s take on baptism is a little misguided.

3875 upvotes

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I absolutely adore the antique ring my fiancé just gave me.

826 upvotes

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My mother has been a straight-up bona fide bitch to me since I can remember, so I knew what I was gonna do when I found that genie in the lamp.

146 upvotes

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"Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned."

119 upvotes

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I stumbled from bed and carried my hangover to the back porch to urinate, and was surprised to find a beautiful blanket of snow covering everything.

95 upvotes

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I think my family's newfound beliefs about reincarnation are a little twisted.

94 upvotes

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People always assume that a parent should've known.

50 upvotes

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The last thing Sybil remembered before waking up in the ER was driving down the freeway and reading a text from her boyfriend.

30 upvotes

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“I’m gonna take you down by the balls and then gnaw your thigh to the femoral artery.”

18 upvotes

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Title	Upvotes	Mark as read	Favorited	Rating	Add to a list
I think my preacher’s take on baptism is a little misguided.	3875
I absolutely adore the antique ring my fiancé just gave me.	826
My mother has been a straight-up bona fide bitch to me since I can remember, so I knew what I was gonna do when I found that genie in the lamp.	146
"Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned."	119
I stumbled from bed and carried my hangover to the back porch to urinate, and was surprised to find a beautiful blanket of snow covering everything.	95
I think my family's newfound beliefs about reincarnation are a little twisted.	94
People always assume that a parent should've known.	50
The last thing Sybil remembered before waking up in the ER was driving down the freeway and reading a text from her boyfriend.	30
“I’m gonna take you down by the balls and then gnaw your thigh to the femoral artery.”	18