/u/dickcheney600's posts in /r/TwoSentenceComedy

Year:

Only show posts with narrations

I keep checking the box that says "remember password"

211 upvotes

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The man said to his smart home device "Siri, why am I so bad at keeping relationships together?"

140 upvotes

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I tried to sneak up on my roommate with a horn sound effect ready to go on my phone, and turned the volume way up

139 upvotes

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The local gas station had their toilet stolen last night.

111 upvotes

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On my way out of the elevator, I pressed all the buttons as a prank to the next people that got on.

109 upvotes

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I saw a bumper sticker that said "I'm a veterinarian, so I drive like an animal"

102 upvotes

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I reset my password today, but then when I tried to log back in, the computer wouldn't let me.

100 upvotes

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I set up an OnlyFans account.

98 upvotes

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I walked by the slot machine and saw that it had 9 credits forgotten on it.

85 upvotes

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I was playing SkeeBall when I saw a giant mouse and started throwing the balls at it.

80 upvotes

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Title	Upvotes	Mark as read	Favorited	Rating	Add to a list
I keep checking the box that says "remember password"	211
The man said to his smart home device "Siri, why am I so bad at keeping relationships together?"	140
I tried to sneak up on my roommate with a horn sound effect ready to go on my phone, and turned the volume way up	139
The local gas station had their toilet stolen last night.	111
On my way out of the elevator, I pressed all the buttons as a prank to the next people that got on.	109
I saw a bumper sticker that said "I'm a veterinarian, so I drive like an animal"	102
I reset my password today, but then when I tried to log back in, the computer wouldn't let me.	100
I set up an OnlyFans account.	98
I walked by the slot machine and saw that it had 9 credits forgotten on it.	85
I was playing SkeeBall when I saw a giant mouse and started throwing the balls at it.	80