/u/dont-mention-it's posts
[WP] A commercial just aired promoting a new security system. It promotes it by showing the presenter step-by-step as he breaks into a house without the security system and kills the owner.
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[WP] When you first got your puppy, you promised them that you would protect them with your life. 14 years later, they’re close to dying of old age, but you made a promise that you refuse to break.
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[WP] As you walk towards the gates of heaven, you’re stopped by the gatekeeper. Before you can enter, you have to take a SAT full of information that you learned in school that you thought was useless.
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[WP] After coming home from a baseball game that you recorded some of on your phone, you decide to rewatch the game on your phone and tv because you thought it would be cool. Instead, you see that what was recorded on your phone and what was broadcasted are completely different.
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[WP] Long ago, it was discovered that those who were deemed important by enough people were granted immortality. Back then that honor was given to military heroes, beloved leaders, and scholars; nowadays it’s given to famous actors, inventors, and Internet personalities.
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[WP] At the age of 23, you discovered your ability to cure diseases while holding your dying mother’s hand. Nowadays you go around curing people of their illnesses while also handling your guilt complex for not discovering this ability sooner.
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[WP] When you woke up after blacking out, you found out that it’s been two days and everyone else in the world had blacked out. Around two weeks later the mass blackout happened again. As the constant black outs kept occurring you began trying to figure out why they kept happening.
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[WP] As you hold your weapon above the hero, you exclaim how the world is now yours. However, you hear your men behind you all say how the world is actually theirs, and you realize what the problem with “hiring a bunch of bastards to help you with world domination” is.
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[WP] Nobody cared too much about the Orion’s Belt, nor did they notice it when it was in the sky. It wasn’t until it started coming apart that people took notice.
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[WP] Earth has discovered a planet with a race of aliens who all wear the same robes and speak of peace between worlds. Seeing them as an easy target, Earth sends a fleet of ships to subjugate them, only for the fleet to return wearing the same robes and saying how we should join them in harmony.
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