/u/dont-mention-it's posts
[WP] Stranded for days at sea, you’ve all but given up hope. Suddenly, you’re picked up by a passing UFO filled with cooing aliens. They feed you and fix you up, all the while recording you and saying how sad it was to find you in that situation, before eventually dropping you off at a vet.
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[WP] “Be forewarned, people who lived in this house have experienced significant hauntings!” “Oh what, like a poltergeist who moves some furniture around?” “Worse, it’s a live studio audience!”
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[WP] Life was never supposed to exist. God made the universe like a model maker to watch things move with a natural order. Life on Earth was made by his little brother, Gosh, because he finds life’s unpredictability to be exciting.
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[WP] After you die, you expect to go to Heaven given your Christian nature. Instead, you end up on Mount Olympus because you turned out to be a descendant of Zeus, and he’s not very happy that you’re worshipping another pantheon.
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[WP] When the Old God was summoned it asked how this was done, to which the lead cultist showed it their Necronomicon. The Old God got incredibly flustered before taking the book and saying that it was from their younger years and that they didn’t want anyone reading it.
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[WP] You’ve just found evidence that a local hero famous for sparing all his foes, and a masked vigilante going around killing villains, might be the same person.
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[WP] Too late to stop them, the heroes watch helplessly as the cultists summon their eldritch god. Out comes a thin accountant with a pocket protector who says “can we make this quick? I’ve got a meeting in twenty minutes”.
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[SP] Write the most boring scenario you can think of, but written in such a way that it sounds exciting.
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[WP] While you’re watching a crappy sitcom a character makes another unfunny joke, but this time the laugh track doesn’t happen. When the character notices this, they begin to look absolutely terrified.
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[WP] In an attempt to take over Earth, an alien race unleashed a bunch of their predators onto the planet and then left to wait out humanity’s destruction. After ten solar cycles, they returned to see their progress an found that, rather than dying off, humanity tamed the predators as pets.
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