/u/incredibleinkpen's posts in /r/TwoSentenceHorror

Year:

My wife wriggled around inside my boot, and I zapped her with my gun again.

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After hearing mumbled voices for several days, I removed one of the floorboards and looked underneath, but found nothing.

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"My wife has narcolepsy, officer," claimed the man hastily, carrying her over his shoulder down the quiet footpath, "and I didn't notice she'd fallen." NSFW

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If a baby screams, it usually means they wants one of three things.

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I arrived home from the party and saw our babysitters on the sofa with my gorgeous sons.

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I came home drunk from the pub and saw the babysitter sitting on the sofa alone.

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My son said he wanted to meet his favourite author.

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By the time I left the drug rehabilitation clinic, I was able to lead a normal life.

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I stuffed one of my socks into the pipe and tested the bathroom tap. NSFW

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My mother always said I was "ruining the world for future generations" by "driving my car when I could be walking".

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Title	Upvotes	Mark as read	Favorited	Rating	Add to a list
My wife wriggled around inside my boot, and I zapped her with my gun again.	1
After hearing mumbled voices for several days, I removed one of the floorboards and looked underneath, but found nothing.	1
"My wife has narcolepsy, officer," claimed the man hastily, carrying her over his shoulder down the quiet footpath, "and I didn't notice she'd fallen." NSFW	1
If a baby screams, it usually means they wants one of three things.	1
I arrived home from the party and saw our babysitters on the sofa with my gorgeous sons.	1
I came home drunk from the pub and saw the babysitter sitting on the sofa alone.	1
My son said he wanted to meet his favourite author.	1
By the time I left the drug rehabilitation clinic, I was able to lead a normal life.	1
I stuffed one of my socks into the pipe and tested the bathroom tap. NSFW	1
My mother always said I was "ruining the world for future generations" by "driving my car when I could be walking".	1