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/u/incredibleinkpen's posts in /r/TwoSentenceHorror

The police are questioning my father regarding a missing boy.

71 upvotes
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My three-month-old son always cries whenever I open the microwave.

70 upvotes
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The heartbroken father arrived at the scene of the crime and saw what remained of his daughter's body; then fled, weeping, with his head in his hands.

66 upvotes
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"I was just on my way to my eye exam," I told the cop.

64 upvotes
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Thousands of people will attend my funeral.

61 upvotes
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I've been practicing delayed gratification.

59 upvotes
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Twenty minutes before my best friend's death, I was in the pub drinking with him, having a good time.

57 upvotes
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I didn't think it was possible for something to be hot and cold simultaneously.

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I'm 295 miles in diameter, and I'm travelling 43,450 mph.

56 upvotes
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"Is there any way you can bring her back?" I pleaded to the doctor, on the verge of tears.

54 upvotes
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