/u/incredibleinkpen's posts in /r/TwoSentenceHorror

Year:

Eventually, nobody was telling me to blow out my birthday candles.

88 upvotes

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When they brought me back for a second time, they granted me eight legs and a hairy body.

85 upvotes

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I received a strange letter in the post with the words "BE CAREFUL" written on it, so I put it straight in the paper shredder.

82 upvotes

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As I awaited my date by the empty street, a body fell from above and crashed into the pavement by my feet.

79 upvotes

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"Daddy, how come we're so far away from all the other paddle boats?" asked my son.

79 upvotes

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As the blade cut through the flesh, he stared at the photograph of his ex-wife.

78 upvotes

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Despite my rumbling tummy, my parents said that I can't eat before my swimming class.

75 upvotes

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The boat capsized and I heard the frantic feet far above.

75 upvotes

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I raced through every red light on the way to the hospital, while my pregnant wife howled on the backseat.

74 upvotes

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I've had enough of my wife.

73 upvotes

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Title	Upvotes	Mark as read	Favorited	Rating	Add to a list
Eventually, nobody was telling me to blow out my birthday candles.	88
When they brought me back for a second time, they granted me eight legs and a hairy body.	85
I received a strange letter in the post with the words "BE CAREFUL" written on it, so I put it straight in the paper shredder.	82
As I awaited my date by the empty street, a body fell from above and crashed into the pavement by my feet.	79
"Daddy, how come we're so far away from all the other paddle boats?" asked my son.	79
As the blade cut through the flesh, he stared at the photograph of his ex-wife.	78
Despite my rumbling tummy, my parents said that I can't eat before my swimming class.	75
The boat capsized and I heard the frantic feet far above.	75
I raced through every red light on the way to the hospital, while my pregnant wife howled on the backseat.	74
I've had enough of my wife.	73