/u/knockoff_lemon's posts in /r/TwoSentenceHorror

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My wife hasn’t put down our newborn son since he was born

1475 upvotes

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As I walked out of the hospital with a beautiful baby in my arms I couldn’t help but smile

509 upvotes

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“That’s not my baby!” My husband screamed as the doctor held up my new born.

375 upvotes

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I often heard stories of cats eating their owners after they died

223 upvotes

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My mom sent me a text “ sorry honey I’m guna be home late tonight, one of the girls got sick so I’m covering her shift :/ “

85 upvotes

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“ where is it ?“ I screamed as I tore the house apart searching

38 upvotes

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As i held her hands in mine i couldn't help but smile.

30 upvotes

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“So what’s your name?” I asked as l loaded grocery’s into the back of his car.

20 upvotes

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I have a horrible sleep schedule so it’s not uncommon for it to be pitch black outside when I wake up .

15 upvotes

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Title	Upvotes	Mark as read	Favorited	Rating	Add to a list
My wife hasn’t put down our newborn son since he was born	1475
As I walked out of the hospital with a beautiful baby in my arms I couldn’t help but smile	509
“That’s not my baby!” My husband screamed as the doctor held up my new born.	375
I often heard stories of cats eating their owners after they died	223
My mom sent me a text “ sorry honey I’m guna be home late tonight, one of the girls got sick so I’m covering her shift :/ “	85
“ where is it ?“ I screamed as I tore the house apart searching	38
As i held her hands in mine i couldn't help but smile.	30
“So what’s your name?” I asked as l loaded grocery’s into the back of his car.	20
I have a horrible sleep schedule so it’s not uncommon for it to be pitch black outside when I wake up .	15