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/u/makejokesandchewgum's posts in /r/TwoSentenceComedy

Smart people are rarely happy, and happy people are rarely smart.

476 upvotes
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I answered the 7 am Saturday knock at my door only to find Vegeta and Frieza holding Bibles on my doorstep.

255 upvotes
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I feel like Pokemon indigo league teaches kids good lessons.

245 upvotes
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I don't know if it was because of the man-thong, or that I kept looking behind them and asking if they were alone.

234 upvotes
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My teacher laughed when I said Spiderman was an allegory for being a young gay man in the closet.

202 upvotes
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It doesn't matter if its sex or cops.

20 upvotes
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In these trying times it's hard to be funny.

17 upvotes
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"Everything happens for a reason," my boss said as someone walked in right before closing time.

12 upvotes
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Comedy is rarely good when you force it.

11 upvotes
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Its my first post on Reddit and I chose to do it here.

11 upvotes
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