/u/my-own-grandfather's posts in /r/TwoSentenceHorror

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Advice needed, what did my fellow parents do when your baby started drawing on the walls?

12320 upvotes

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My wife just ran out of the kitchen in tears because she lost her ring

2575 upvotes

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I gotta say that I found it sort of funny when I saw ‘nicest porn’ in my search history after lending my laptop to my brother. NSFW

1093 upvotes

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My daddy is always falling asleep in the garden.

627 upvotes

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I don’t have much time before he finds me but I need one of you to send the police to my location, the address is:

331 upvotes

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I thought I had a hair in my mouth, so I went to pull it out.

229 upvotes

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As I was walking down the pier, one of the fisherman really caught my eye.

164 upvotes

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As his sharp, thin knife sliced my skin open, I tried to scream for help.

138 upvotes

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I was chopping the vegetables for my salad and almost ended up losing a finger.

123 upvotes

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Dad said I couldn't go to the Minecraft pIace I saw a sign for.

49 upvotes

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Title	Upvotes	Mark as read	Favorited	Rating	Add to a list
Advice needed, what did my fellow parents do when your baby started drawing on the walls?	12320
My wife just ran out of the kitchen in tears because she lost her ring	2575
I gotta say that I found it sort of funny when I saw ‘nicest porn’ in my search history after lending my laptop to my brother. NSFW	1093
My daddy is always falling asleep in the garden.	627
I don’t have much time before he finds me but I need one of you to send the police to my location, the address is:	331
I thought I had a hair in my mouth, so I went to pull it out.	229
As I was walking down the pier, one of the fisherman really caught my eye.	164
As his sharp, thin knife sliced my skin open, I tried to scream for help.	138
I was chopping the vegetables for my salad and almost ended up losing a finger.	123
Dad said I couldn't go to the Minecraft pIace I saw a sign for.	49