/u/mydadsnameisharold's posts in /r/TwoSentenceHorror

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“Why are you doing this to me?!”

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It's getting awful hot in here.

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“But sir, we don’t really have any evide-“

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"Yes I killed her, it was the only way to protect her from her evil pig of a father."

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When she got pregnant, my wife and I agreed to do that genealogy testing thing, so we’d learn our child’s ethnic background, being that we were both adopted.

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I told her I was crushing on her mad hard.

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We finally translated the message from Proxima Centauri...

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All these stupid vamp kids wishing they were infected with magical vampirism....

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Only the loneliest people call sex chat lines, that's why it's so easy to hook a customer, reel them in, and keep them calling back no matter how badly you treat them.

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"Beautiful, you're going to be so beautiful when we're done!"

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Title	Upvotes	Mark as read	Favorited	Rating	Add to a list
“Why are you doing this to me?!”	42
It's getting awful hot in here.	42
“But sir, we don’t really have any evide-“	42
"Yes I killed her, it was the only way to protect her from her evil pig of a father."	41
When she got pregnant, my wife and I agreed to do that genealogy testing thing, so we’d learn our child’s ethnic background, being that we were both adopted.	41
I told her I was crushing on her mad hard.	41
We finally translated the message from Proxima Centauri...	41
All these stupid vamp kids wishing they were infected with magical vampirism....	41
Only the loneliest people call sex chat lines, that's why it's so easy to hook a customer, reel them in, and keep them calling back no matter how badly you treat them.	41
"Beautiful, you're going to be so beautiful when we're done!"	41