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/u/mydadsnameisharold's posts in /r/TwoSentenceHorror

I always thought necrophilia was disgusting and repulsive.

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For the first few weeks I was stuck reading books like “Curious George” and “Clifford the Big Red Dog”.

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I slapped my fortune cookie on the table, and peeled the message out of the crumbs:

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“The teat says you’re pregnant!”

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“Yo I just grabbed some toddler and dragged him into the unisex bathroom, I can hear his mom shrieking, lol.”

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I don’t always freak out when there’s a bug on me.

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I found an awesome mask at the Halloween store and the guy let me have it for free because he said he’d never seen it before and it definitely wasn’t his stock!

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Our scientists created the highly effective, new corona virus.

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“Tch-tch-tch, wake up, I don’t want you to miss this!”

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It started as a simple headache.

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