/u/mydadsnameisharold's posts in /r/TwoSentenceHorror

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Only show posts with narrations

All three of my girlfriends are pregnant and I don’t know a damn thing about delivering babies.

123 upvotes

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I had a couple leeches on me when I climbed out of the water.

122 upvotes

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I asked her if she’d like to join me for coffee sometime.

122 upvotes

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Most of my patients don’t know what an enucleation is.

121 upvotes

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She flicked her tongue across his tip then slid her lips down and around his throbbing shaft....

120 upvotes

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I just heard somebody upstairs!

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I usually love snacking on roasted nuts.

118 upvotes

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My kids and I got sprayed and traumatized when the passenger across the aisle blew his brains out.

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“Ohhh girl, I can’t wait to get all up inside of you!”

112 upvotes

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I sustained a severe head injury and now I’m like a stranger unto myself, I haven’t killed anybody or felt a single violent urge since then.

111 upvotes

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Title	Upvotes	Mark as read	Favorited	Rating	Add to a list
All three of my girlfriends are pregnant and I don’t know a damn thing about delivering babies.	123
I had a couple leeches on me when I climbed out of the water.	122
I asked her if she’d like to join me for coffee sometime.	122
Most of my patients don’t know what an enucleation is.	121
She flicked her tongue across his tip then slid her lips down and around his throbbing shaft....	120
I just heard somebody upstairs!	120
I usually love snacking on roasted nuts.	118
My kids and I got sprayed and traumatized when the passenger across the aisle blew his brains out.	118
“Ohhh girl, I can’t wait to get all up inside of you!”	112
I sustained a severe head injury and now I’m like a stranger unto myself, I haven’t killed anybody or felt a single violent urge since then.	111