/u/phemonoe153's posts in /r/TwoSentenceHorror

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We tried to have children for years and now that my wife's body is finally swelling with new life, I can't get her to stop decorating the damn nursery.

6723 upvotes

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I feel like my wife's been avoiding me, and worried she's having an affair, I decided to follow her.

434 upvotes

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The worst part of having facial blindness isn't the embarrassment of not recognizing my friends and family.

135 upvotes

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They say that IBS is a catch-all for many poorly defined bowel diseases.

34 upvotes

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Once I started to work on the fishing boats in the Bering Sea I quickly learned that mermaids are real.

32 upvotes

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It's both frustrating and sweet how my dog aggressively defends me from strangers.

31 upvotes

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No one is concerned that the tree outside my window grew 20 feet overnight

31 upvotes

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It was only after I died that the doctors realized that I was getting sick every time my husband brought me food from home.

31 upvotes

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The dentist said, "You're only 7? I'm amazed! You did such a good job being still and quiet during your root canal!"

26 upvotes

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Title	Upvotes	Mark as read	Favorited	Rating	Add to a list
We tried to have children for years and now that my wife's body is finally swelling with new life, I can't get her to stop decorating the damn nursery.	6723
I feel like my wife's been avoiding me, and worried she's having an affair, I decided to follow her.	434
The worst part of having facial blindness isn't the embarrassment of not recognizing my friends and family.	135
They say that IBS is a catch-all for many poorly defined bowel diseases.	34
Once I started to work on the fishing boats in the Bering Sea I quickly learned that mermaids are real.	32
It's both frustrating and sweet how my dog aggressively defends me from strangers.	31
No one is concerned that the tree outside my window grew 20 feet overnight	31
It was only after I died that the doctors realized that I was getting sick every time my husband brought me food from home.	31
The dentist said, "You're only 7? I'm amazed! You did such a good job being still and quiet during your root canal!"	26