/u/philistine-slayer's posts
[WP] The king facepalm as he begins to make the announcement while his daughter glares at the crowd with crossed arms. "For the 37th time, my daughter is not in danger so do NOT kill that dragon...that beast is one of our royal lawyers!" he shouted angrily. "And the best one!" shouted the princess.
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[WP] "Oops these typos, You're NOT rescuing a princess, you're rescuing some princes! And it's carriage not marriage," said the messenger. "What?!" said the knights. "I keep asking His Majesty to make his aged writer retire," he said awkwardly.
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[WP] When translator devices are given to pets. The cats and dogs asked us one question with concern. "Why do you humans shed skin and put them back on you?"
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[WP] Aliens laugh at a human for using a shiny but worthless rock as a proposal item. The offended human coworker said "what did you propose your partners with?" The aliens said "My favorite raygun,", "A robot servant", and "One of my eyeballs,"
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[WP] "Why do you let your human servant visit his father? Didn't they sell that 1st born?" asked the Fae Queen. "His parents are divorced and one of them stubbornly disagrees to sell him...long story short, I have shared custody and gain a sort-of-ex-spouse now..." said the fae awkwardly.
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[EU] When Hagrid brings Harry to the Leaky Cauldron. He was surprised to see some guards in black uniforms with the weird symbol that says SCP. "Don't mind 'em, they're just patrollin'," said the half-giant to Harry. The foundation has been keeping a close eye since a few Dark Lord incidents.
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[EU] Dumbledore decides to be petty about Fudge forcing Umbridge on Hogwarts by hiring a much scarier teacher that will make even the most cold-hearted Death Eaters sweat bucketful... Chef Ramsey for the new culinary class.
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