/u/salmontail's posts
[WP] You clearly mail ordered a cheap, factory made sword. Then they gave you an authentic holy sword that made you into a chosen hero. Time to write a bad review!
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[WP] There's a reason you're the most powerful god: Instead of using teenagers as your champions, you only pick qualified, mature adults with the experience and skills necessary. Your colleagues, your enemies, and even your champions all have complaints about this arrangement.
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[WP] You rip off the elf's ears to show a rounded ear, the dwarf's beard to show a clean shaven face, the drow's makeup to show pearl white skin, the human's legs to show hidden stilts... "Is there ANYONE who actually belongs to the race they're supposed to represent here?"
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[WP] While your colleagues are fixated on magical items and artifacts, you’ve been quietly collecting all the deeds of ownership for the ruins and dungeons you clear.
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[WP] After a life of survival in the wasteland, you wake up a week before the bombs fell. Knowing the future, you prepare for the end by citing the laws of the wasteland. And so, a week passes, and sitting in your bunker, the bombs did not fall.
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[WP] A lone dentist stands at the center of the city's vortex of power struggles. He has the most complete list of vampires in the city. The humans want the list, and the vampires cannot do without his services.
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[WP] Many years ago, an old man gave you a magic stone and told you that you were one in a billion. Believing in his words, you became someone great, but today, you see that same old man giving a child the exact same rock, holding a full pouch of them.
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[WP] You've convinced death to let you have a second chance at an extraordinary life, starting over from the beginning, with all your memories intact. A second life of procrastination and wasted opportunities later, you stand before a very disappointed Death.
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[WP] A retired drill sergeant tries to trash talk his backyard vegetables into growing big and strong.
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[WP] Every few years, you lose all your legendary artifacts, all your piles of gold, and all your accumulated world-destroying powers and have to start over with a shortsword, a wooden shield and barely enough money for lunch. You've become a recurring protagonist of a long running RPG series.
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