/u/scott_hunts's posts
[WP] A reporter gets a job at The Onion and does not realize it is a satirical newspaper. They are baffled by the fact they keep getting extremely strange topics to write about.
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[WP] You are in a nuclear missile silo. The zombies have destroyed most of New York, but otherwise the plague is contained. You have been ordered to launch before the plague breaks containment, but your entire family is holed up in the city.
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[WP] "It's called a reality corruption field generator, if your corner of the universe starts to have dimensional rifts, you can use it to cauterize the whole thing."
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[WP] When you get to the pearly gates God makes a pun or joke about how you died. You arrive right when he runs out of material, and he can’t seem to think of anything.
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[WP] The protagonist thinks his friend is getting ready to attack the bad guy, and keeps stalling for time. The bad guy killed the friend while ago, and now want to see how long he can keep this going until the protagonist runs out of things to talk about.
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[WP] You have been ordered to launch one nuclear missile on a neighboring city to stop the spread of a horrific disease that is spreading rapidly but still contained in the city. Your family lives there. The turn the key would kill them, to not turn it would kill millions.
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[WP] “SQUARE UP BUTTERCUP” yelled the drunken man to the flower, little did he know the flower was a former MMA champion.
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[WP] “My name is Dave and it’s been 6 months since I’ve used a smartphone”. You begin tho think this was a mistake as Dave drones on and on. You feel jittery, you haven’t checked your phone in almost half an hour.
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