/u/shakeythirsty's posts
[WP] Your strength is determined by the time of day. At 3:30pm you are a Hercules. At 3:30am you are a mouse. They'll come for you some night. Only a matter of time.
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[WP] Your job is discrediting UFO reports, and you’re good at it. But as the aliens become bolder, your job becomes a lot harder.
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One day, in a flash of light, a skinny man with very little fur appears outside your cave, and makes strange sounds with his voice. It's not your clan's nature to help strangers, but without you he will not last the night.
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[WP] Your cravings were the same for all 3 of your pregnancies--an entire jar of crunchy peanut butter. Now, at the age of 77, why did you just buy 10 jars of Jif?
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[WP] If my kids use telepathy with friends while at the dinner table, I confiscate their headgear for the rest of the night. They're good kids, but I can't monitor their thoughts 20 hours a day. Does that make me a bad mom? Sincerely, Not-A-Mind-Reader in St Louis.
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[WP] Picasso, Rembrandt, Dali. You recognize the names of everyone on your Afterlife Tribunal as a famous artist. This is disconcerting, as you have never even picked up a brush.
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[WP] Finding your dad's old service record has been a nightmare. Apparently, they're on an old storage platform called The Cloud. If you can actually find it, your dad wrote down a user name and password for you to use. Whatever those are.
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She stomped right up to me in the middle of the cereal aisle, pulled my mask to the side, and planted a wet kiss on my lips.
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[WP] Without any assistance, the Doomsday clock advances to 30 seconds until midnight. Tired of living on the brink, you move the minute hand to 12. The devil appears, bows, and hands you his pitchfork.
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