/u/spraywash's posts in /r/TwoSentenceHorror

Year:

Only show posts with narrations

My child was in the throes of a panicked tantrum and kept screaming “I don’t want to see grandma”. I told him to shut up and keep digging.

272 upvotes

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After I trudged down the country lane to get my mail, I failed to notice the newly formed wasp nest under the mailbox post.

4 upvotes

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My new girlfriend…

1 upvotes

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As I groggily opened my eyes in my hungover state and glanced down at my phone, I realized I had 4,321 Facebook notifications. I wonder what “drunk me” was posting about last night.

1 upvotes

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While I didn’t realize my wife had gone car shopping today, she certainly knew my schedule down to the minute. I never heard the Tesla coming as I bounced off the windshield.

1 upvotes

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As precious seconds ticked off the bomb’s timer, my head piece crackled with my sergeants voice telling me the schematics indicate you must clip the green wire.

1 upvotes

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I heard the front door opening at the very moment I was sliding off my wife’s panties. I honestly had expected her and the kids to be out shopping much longer. NSFW

1 upvotes

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Flowers

1 upvotes

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Title	Upvotes	Mark as read	Favorited	Rating	Add to a list
My child was in the throes of a panicked tantrum and kept screaming “I don’t want to see grandma”. I told him to shut up and keep digging.	272
After I trudged down the country lane to get my mail, I failed to notice the newly formed wasp nest under the mailbox post.	4
My new girlfriend…	1
As I groggily opened my eyes in my hungover state and glanced down at my phone, I realized I had 4,321 Facebook notifications. I wonder what “drunk me” was posting about last night.	1
While I didn’t realize my wife had gone car shopping today, she certainly knew my schedule down to the minute. I never heard the Tesla coming as I bounced off the windshield.	1
As precious seconds ticked off the bomb’s timer, my head piece crackled with my sergeants voice telling me the schematics indicate you must clip the green wire.	1
I heard the front door opening at the very moment I was sliding off my wife’s panties. I honestly had expected her and the kids to be out shopping much longer. NSFW	1
Flowers	1