/u/spraywash's posts
My child was in the throes of a panicked tantrum and kept screaming “I don’t want to see grandma”. I told him to shut up and keep digging.
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After I trudged down the country lane to get my mail, I failed to notice the newly formed wasp nest under the mailbox post.
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As I groggily opened my eyes in my hungover state and glanced down at my phone, I realized I had 4,321 Facebook notifications. I wonder what “drunk me” was posting about last night.
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While I didn’t realize my wife had gone car shopping today, she certainly knew my schedule down to the minute. I never heard the Tesla coming as I bounced off the windshield.
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As precious seconds ticked off the bomb’s timer, my head piece crackled with my sergeants voice telling me the schematics indicate you must clip the green wire.
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