/u/tasteofhemlock's posts in /r/TwoSentenceHorror

Year:

Only show posts with narrations

When the elevator attendant asked if she was going to the ground floor she rolled her eyes and told him, “no, why don’t you bring me to the ninth circle of hell?”

270 upvotes

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The sleep walker poked a few holes in the squash, stuck it in the oven, and then went back to bed.

270 upvotes

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The personality assessment and upload was a complete success, and the AI even compensated for mom’s dementia by applying a de-aging algorithm.

239 upvotes

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Dads will never understand how beautiful nursing is: to hold your child to your breast and literally nourish them from your own body.

222 upvotes

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“Forensics just confirmed the murder weapon and it explains why the victim’s scalp was so shredded….”

203 upvotes

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“Listening to these pathetic, self-absorbed people constantly whine about petty bullshit is really making me hate the lot of them….”

202 upvotes

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The doctor said, “are you experiencing any new loss of taste or smell?”

200 upvotes

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[JAN23] “My husband is an abusive, two-faced monster but I can’t divorce him.”

181 upvotes

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[JAN23] Tearfully he thanked me for helping him through his lows and said I was the best sponsor and friend a guy could hope for.

174 upvotes

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[JAN23] Ignorant to the fact that this dessert would be his last, my husband praised my cooking and said it was the best damned almond cake he’d ever eaten.

168 upvotes

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Title	Upvotes	Mark as read	Favorited	Rating	Add to a list
When the elevator attendant asked if she was going to the ground floor she rolled her eyes and told him, “no, why don’t you bring me to the ninth circle of hell?”	270
The sleep walker poked a few holes in the squash, stuck it in the oven, and then went back to bed.	270
The personality assessment and upload was a complete success, and the AI even compensated for mom’s dementia by applying a de-aging algorithm.	239
Dads will never understand how beautiful nursing is: to hold your child to your breast and literally nourish them from your own body.	222
“Forensics just confirmed the murder weapon and it explains why the victim’s scalp was so shredded….”	203
“Listening to these pathetic, self-absorbed people constantly whine about petty bullshit is really making me hate the lot of them….”	202
The doctor said, “are you experiencing any new loss of taste or smell?”	200
[JAN23] “My husband is an abusive, two-faced monster but I can’t divorce him.”	181
[JAN23] Tearfully he thanked me for helping him through his lows and said I was the best sponsor and friend a guy could hope for.	174
[JAN23] Ignorant to the fact that this dessert would be his last, my husband praised my cooking and said it was the best damned almond cake he’d ever eaten.	168