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/r/TwoSentenceComedy

jeff Bezos thanks amazon-employees {those keep up with the workplace's exhausting productivity-rates} for paying for his 3seconds of space-travel.

82 upvotes • wondererSkull
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My architect wouldn’t listen when I told him I didn’t want a mezzanine.

81 upvotes • undividual
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Halloween night, my buddies and I saw a badly dressed hooker outside a college party.

81 upvotes • [deleted]
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My father has the heart of a lion...

81 upvotes • gerryw173
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When in toxicated.

81 upvotes • HunterSDeadguy
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I gave my friend who's is a fortune teller a card with number XXI on it.

81 upvotes • Vacuousbard
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I finally decided to give 'quiet quitting' a go last week.

81 upvotes • PaoloBrescia
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My local butcher started making sausage out of seabirds.

81 upvotes • abitosmitty
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I got a text from my mom saying she was almost home

81 upvotes • Commercial_Bad2050
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So, if the Minions served mostly every evil figure during history…

81 upvotes • MissJubilee-
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