/r/TwoSentenceComedy

Year:

Only show posts with narrations

If your in a difficult situation, always think of what Jesus would do. NSFW

5 upvotes • Throwaway19427

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You tried to grab a piece of bread, but it dodged you, grabbing a knife and leaping on top of the fridge.

5 upvotes • RedPixl243

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My entire squad got wiped out on our first combat mission.

5 upvotes • CKO1967

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Jeremy woke up in a strange grass field, and looking around saw only a few small buildings and a pond. NSFW

5 upvotes • Pwtato

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I saw my dad's porn collection.

5 upvotes • coochiemonstter

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The Admiral gave me a single launch code and told me where to send it.

5 upvotes • Madg5

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There wasn't a single, godamned thing she could do about the vice-like hand that was gripping her throat and cutting off the precious oxygen to her airways.

5 upvotes • Cizzy-Shizzy

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I slip my fingers inside her to see if she was wet, and sure enough, she was-suddenly she went down on me

5 upvotes • [deleted]

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omg i need to pee

5 upvotes • PrancerHasCancer

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to my sadness, her will stated she wanted her body to be cremated. NSFW

5 upvotes • StatisticianLoud5911

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Title	Upvotes	Author	Mark as read	Favorited	Rating	Add to a list
If your in a difficult situation, always think of what Jesus would do. NSFW	5	Throwaway19427
You tried to grab a piece of bread, but it dodged you, grabbing a knife and leaping on top of the fridge.	5	RedPixl243
My entire squad got wiped out on our first combat mission.	5	CKO1967
Jeremy woke up in a strange grass field, and looking around saw only a few small buildings and a pond. NSFW	5	Pwtato
I saw my dad's porn collection.	5	coochiemonstter
The Admiral gave me a single launch code and told me where to send it.	5	Madg5
There wasn't a single, godamned thing she could do about the vice-like hand that was gripping her throat and cutting off the precious oxygen to her airways.	5	Cizzy-Shizzy
I slip my fingers inside her to see if she was wet, and sure enough, she was-suddenly she went down on me	5	[deleted]
omg i need to pee	5	PrancerHasCancer
to my sadness, her will stated she wanted her body to be cremated. NSFW	5	StatisticianLoud5911