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/r/TwoSentenceComedy

As the attacker swung their blade down onto my arm, I screamed, expecting to see blood and be in immense pain..

1 upvotes • [deleted]
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What is the difference between me and Cancer?

1 upvotes • bigman44300
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As the attacker swung their blade down onto my arm, I was ready to see blood and be immense pain..

1 upvotes • [deleted]
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The moaning keeps me awake at night. NSFW

1 upvotes • [deleted]
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"This might hurt a bit, but it'll quickly pass", the dentist assured me, as he showed me his drill...

1 upvotes • Ascendise
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My son is dead while traveling.

1 upvotes • EnChanted96
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As I was taking my clothes out of the washing machine, I stupidly managed to get both of my arms stuck in there.

1 upvotes • [deleted]
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Everyone keeps saying that us Irish are all raging alcoholics

1 upvotes • [deleted]
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Philosophers be like:

1 upvotes • [deleted]
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I, for one, never pay attention to “fake Internet points”.

1 upvotes • [deleted]
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