/u/Aloiciousss's posts
[WP] “Sir, World of Warcraft subscriptions just jumped by 2.3 billion” “Billion with a ‘B’? Where did they come from?” “Well, all the new traffic is routed through the Deep Space Array. It appears we’ve made first contact. Or, at least Thrall has…”
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[WP] “Mr. President, good news/bad news. The good news: we’re not alone in the universe. The bad news: the armada that just showed up in orbit says they’ve never heard of a car or warranty before and if we don’t stop calling them right now, they will exterminate the planet.”
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[WP] Spirits of the dead linger in the mortal realm until their name is forgotten. Millions of years in the future, you have outlasted all other human spirits. You are Harald Bluetooth, 10th century king of Denmark and Norway.
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[WP] "My Son has something to say to you all." "*Sniff*, I'm sorry for getting angry and trying to reset your world with a flood." "And?" "Do I have to?" "Yes!" "...and for the whole plague of locusts thing. It was just a prank"
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[WP] There is a theory that the universe is a computer simulation. You’ve decided to test this under the assumption that all computer programs have bugs. You are reality’s QA/QC and you just found your first bug in the code.
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[WP] The aliens that have been monitoring earth provide us with some summary statistics of their observations. Humans rank first among earth species in many categories, but humanity is collectively shocked to find out that they only rank 3rd in intelligence and technological advancement
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[WP] In the distant future, proxy wars are fought by comedians, trying to make the other laugh first. You are an unstoppable psychopath, but your opponent just invented time travel. Out of the darkness in the arena, you hear a faint "nyuk nyuk nyuk" and your blood chills.
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[WP] the final enemy of any advanced civilization is not war, or famine, or disease, but boredom. As humanity explores the stars, they find they are not alone, but that civilization after civilization has faded to dust after learning all there was to know.
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[WP] You are the all-seeing god recording all human history. You name it, you've seen it: war, love, betrayal, and death have all become boring footnotes. But you wake up excited every day because nothing has ever been as engrossing and dramatic as the life of Tiffany Miller, age 16.
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