/u/Breadinator's posts
[WP] To combat loneliness as the last person alive, for years you've kept a cell phone around, relishing the automated 'robocalls' that still live on, giving you the closest thing you have to human interaction. One day, their familiar, repeating messages start to change.
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[WP] You manage to escape Earth moments before it is engulfed in nuclear fire, believing yourself to be the lone survivor of human kind. With nowhere else to go, you decide to orbit the moon. As you enter its dark side, you see the unmistakable glow of a sprawling city on the surface.
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[WP] Everyone seems to love the same show that popped up a few months ago online. It dominates everything from the nightly news to forum posts. You've seen it, and it's rather dull. Joining a small like-minded group online, you find you all have one thing in common: you always skip the opening song.
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[WP] As an alien invasion swiftly brings humanity to its knees, you stumble upon their only weakness: puns cause their advanced intellects excruciating pain. You now lead a rag tag group of mediocre comics to take back the planet.
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[WP] "Welcome, freshmen, to Isekai University! We'd like to remind you that mechanical transportation is prohibited on all campus grounds, portals of any kind are not allowed, and magic is expressly forbidden. Don't forget Survival 101 is mandatory, and all tuition is due up front in cash!"
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[WP] Ever since you heard about 'listening' to geology, you made it your life's work to install microphones all over the Earth. As you excitedly merge the recordings together and speed it up, it almost sounds like speech. Running it through a translator, your blood runs cold: it's a countdown.
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[WP] In their dying moments, the villain could only scowl at the heroes standing over them. "You fools, I was the only thing keeping them in check." One hero rolled their eyes. "What? A plague of the undead? Cosmic horrors?" Breathing a final, raspy sigh, the villain replied: "Worse. The writers."
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[WP] Humans are the only intelligent species that lacks a hive mind. The chaos of humanity is amusing to them, but nobody wants us dead. In fact, they have setup competing outreach programs among us to try and "fix" our condition.
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[WP] As a 'gifted' assassin, you never miss your target. However, when you kill them, all of the good they would have done (had they lived) flashes before your eyes.
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[WP] You were saddened when your parents died. You were tearful when you found a daily journal they kept of your life since your were born. You were puzzled when you realized that the pages kept going past the day they died. You became concerned as the dates went well past today.
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