/u/Covert_Ruffian's posts
[WP] The dead astronaut's body tumbled through space, having run out of oxygen millennia ago. Until it hit a medical frigate of the Human Federation, that is.
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[WP] Humanity just launched its first interplanetary manned ship. As it approaches Alpha Centauri, the closest star system to Earth, the communications panel erupts in every known language: "CODE BLACK, THEY HAVE BROKEN OUT, THE HUMANS ARE OUT, CODE BLACK."
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[WP] "Kill the Chosen One? Are you mad? No! Give the people something useful, like a school or a hospital. I deposed the last ruler because he refused to help his people and kept power all to himself," the Dark Queen said. "The kingdom is only as strong as the weakest commoner."
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[WP] NASA detects a foreign, metallic object coming from the moon. After it lands and a defensive perimeter is set, scientists notice it looks like Apollo 11's Columbia module. And in it, the three first men sent to the moon, full of life and cheering.
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[WP] "Captain, the warpdrives are failing and there's little we can actually do. We're stuck," said the first mate. "Fine," the captain said. "Awake the human. Just don't forget to bring it a 'koh-fi' drink to placate it."
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[WP] "Don't touch the human there. That's how you guarantee your own death. It might be half our size but don't underestimate what they do when you tickle them. There's a reason they're a Class IX auditory hazard species."
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[WP] For a millennia, the immortal Lich Queen has reigned. A peaceful millennia. Turns out the people don't care who rules, as long as they're happy and nobody bothers them. And no "Chosen One" will take that away from them just to fulfill some stupid dusty "prophesy."
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[WP] "Yeah we don't meet intelligent species like yours too often. They usually go extinct after their rich members hoard everything and leave." "We had that happen to us. But we then we flew to them, took our stuff back, and left them behind."
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[WP] "Sir, we found evidence of new interstellar neighbors. They're humans." "That's nice. We should send them a housewarming gift." "Like, what, an asteroid? Antimatter wave?" "No, an actual gift. Warp drive blueprints and room-temperature superconductors, those seem thoughtful."
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