/u/EarthMarsUranus's posts in /r/TwoSentenceHorror

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I'm worried that my wife is going to kill herself.

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It's been over a week and my wife is still mad at me for accidentally poisoning the children.

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For years it had steadily grown, completely undetected, deep within the cold earth under their very feet.

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I couldn't believe my luck when 5 couples turned up at my house in response to my advert for a night of experimental screwing.

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I wiped a single tear from the girls face before leaving her lying pitifully in her own blood.

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Never expecting to hear anything back, astronomers beamed a message to a star just 20 light years away as a publicity stunt.

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"I can't find the remote and I've looked everywhere", my husband complained as he often did.

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I really regret asking for nothing in exchange for returning the leprechaun's pot of gold.

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The probabilistic nature of quantum mechanics means there is an infinitesimally small yet non-zero chance that if you walk into a door you'll go straight through it.

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So remember class; if you need to ingest a creature to be affected by its poison then it is simply poisonous but if the creature actively injects you then it is said to be venomous.

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Title	Upvotes	Mark as read	Favorited	Rating	Add to a list
I'm worried that my wife is going to kill herself.	23
It's been over a week and my wife is still mad at me for accidentally poisoning the children.	23
For years it had steadily grown, completely undetected, deep within the cold earth under their very feet.	23
I couldn't believe my luck when 5 couples turned up at my house in response to my advert for a night of experimental screwing.	22
I wiped a single tear from the girls face before leaving her lying pitifully in her own blood.	22
Never expecting to hear anything back, astronomers beamed a message to a star just 20 light years away as a publicity stunt.	22
"I can't find the remote and I've looked everywhere", my husband complained as he often did.	21
I really regret asking for nothing in exchange for returning the leprechaun's pot of gold.	21
The probabilistic nature of quantum mechanics means there is an infinitesimally small yet non-zero chance that if you walk into a door you'll go straight through it.	21
So remember class; if you need to ingest a creature to be affected by its poison then it is simply poisonous but if the creature actively injects you then it is said to be venomous.	21