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/u/EsausSon's posts in /r/TwoSentenceHorror

We should have a good harvest this year.

35 upvotes
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I don’t know about you, but this apocalypse has done wonders for my dating life.

33 upvotes
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My room had a porthole and it was amazing to watch as the water washed over it each time, granting me a fantastic underwater view.

30 upvotes
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“Don’t worry, they will get the lift fixed and get us out of this shaft.”

30 upvotes
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“Don’t worry, I don’t want anything from you so I’m letting you go.”

25 upvotes
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I always told my kids there was nothing in the basement that could get them.

24 upvotes
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I love playing Marco Polo with my little brother in the pond near our house.

23 upvotes
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My doctor said I can’t have kids anymore.

22 upvotes
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I had never gotten a cramp in both legs before.

21 upvotes
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“Alright you psycho, you said my son was in the walk in freezer but I looked and he’s not there!”

20 upvotes
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